Harry Potter's Hunt Duhn duhn duh duhn!
by Insane Eddisians
Summary: Ron, Harry, Voldy, and Bellatrix go a-hunting in the NotForbidden Forest for foul things. They discover Twilight characters. Chaos ensues. WARNING: bad visuals of Ronald in a flourescent orange jumpsuit may occur.


**Authors' Note: Of course, Harry isn't really a psychopathic killer. That's Voldemort's job. And Twilight characters didn't actually get murdered by this unfortunate quartet. (But don't we all wish...)**

**Disclaimer: We don't Harry Potter or any of his friends. (Sigh). Or any Twilight characters, which is good. Ew. **

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Harry Potter smiled as he woke up. He, the Boy Who Lived, was living to see another day. He had never really understood that name, anyway. If he was alive, then what were all the other boys, dead? He glanced to the side, where he saw a plastic dinner fork, the only memory of yesterday's psychotic killing spree with Voldemort, Ron, and Bellatrix (man, she looked good in black). He supposed he should feel some sort of guilt for their rampage yesterday, but instead he only felt a strange sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. After all, he and his band of awesome friends had rid the world of some of the most terrible fictional characters ever. It had all been in self-defence, really. They were protecting their minds and the minds of innocent children from the evils of sparkly vampires from the terrible realm of _Twilight_. As Voldy had said, "It's not really man slaughter, because technically vampires aren't people. And they're so damn annoying."

He grinned maniacally as he remembered how it had all started yesterday afternoon....

"Oi! Harry! You wanna go out and, y'know, do something? And what's that, Hermione's cat or something?" Ron had asked. He had gotten bored of sorted his great auntie's spork collection for the tenth time. Harry looked up from his piece of paper on which he was trying to draw Ginny.

"No, Ron. I am ever so bored. I will continue to be bored until a fair lady in shining arm...clothing comes to rescue me. And perhaps I shall sing my bored song."

"NO! Harry, I know! Let's go to the forest and look for something annoying to hex! And we'll call Voldy and Trixi because they're sadistic and fun! Yay!"

Harry, who was shocked my Ron's enthusiasm and nickname for Bellatrix Lestrange, only nodded.

And half an hour later, dressed in a fluorescent yellow jump suit and a bunny rabbit head piece (camouflage, according to Ron) he regretted it. Ron was a wearing the same thing in neon orange, which clashed terribly with his hair. Voldemort had agreed to come but had refused Ron's clothing, wishing to stay in his black robes. Instead, Ron had forced him into a crossing guard's reflective vest and a puke-green toque to cover his 'icky' lack of hair. Bellatrix had come in a black dress and was still in it by the time they were ready to leave, which was good. Now, it was time for Ron to give them their promised weaponry.

"But, Ronald, we already have our wands. Shouldn't that be enough?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yes, Trixi, but we need back up weapons. So, here you go." Ron said happily.

To Harry he gave two plastic forks, a cheap harmonica, and a spatula. Voldemort received a headless Barbie and two metres of string. Bellatrix was given a roll of duct tape and a plastic baggy filled with popsicle sticks. Ron produced a carrot, stuffed frog, and an empty egg carton for himself. His party was ready for battle.

"Well, Ron..." Harry began.

"This is very...um... useful.." Voldemort tried to finish.

Bellatrix tried not to say anything that would ruin Ron's self esteem and simply nodded.

Without further ado, they set off into the gloom of the NotForbidden Forest, alert to anything or anyone that may come their way.

After skipping down a well-worn path for about ten minutes, the quartet stumbled across a small silver box. Ron, without thinking, opened the box, held it upside down, and shook it. Harry held his breath while Voldemort and Bellatrix peeked between closed fingers.

Out tumbled....... nothing.

The party groaned in disappointment.

"Ron! How many times do I have to tell you not to touch strange things in the forest! You could get impetigo! Remember that shiny, pointy thing?" Harry shrieked, exasperated.

"Needle, Potter, it was a needle." Bellatrix mumbled.

Voldemort turned and picked up the box again. He shook it gently and nearly dropped it when a shower of silver sparkles fell out

"AH! The sparkles! The shiny! They blind me! Blind me!" The bald villain screamed.

Ron rolled his eyes in disappointment. He was about to say something but was interrupted by Harry's shriek of pure terror.

"Oh my Merlin! It's alive! Save me!" The dark-haired boy screamed.

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**End Note: REVIEW!! ...and there is more to come...... (*evil laugh*) **


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